The Art of Fornication...

The information written below is for the exclusive use of the reader and shall be read and used at his risk entirely. The author accepts no responsibility and warns the information herein is dangerous in the hands and mind of the immature, the ignorant, the insensitive and the anti-social would-be fornicator. Anyone else is bound to benefit if being a bit short in knowledge or technique. Happy fornication!

Chapter 1 : Fornication

Fornicating by itself, is an art. As most of us are not born "artists", we can sure use some assistance from time to time.

Snaring pussy, *fornication*, is the adult/maturing adolescent's version of recieving a birthday invitation when you were a kid. If you recieved lots of birthday invitations you probably were the happy kid in the block. Likewise with fornication. If you're getting lotsa "love", I'm sure that you probably one of the happy guys in your block. You'd perhaps even get same sex "lovin" if you were "bent" that way...

Crap aside, lets get down to the real shit...

Basics. Like everything, lets start with the basics...

First, think pussy. Unless you do so, it may evade you simply because you've lost the plot.

You don't have to identify a particular pussy. Cause, if you do so, you automatically limit your choices and varieties, perhaps tragically so. So maintain wide vision and remember the age old fundamental: "IT" is everywhere.

Being socially correct automatically turns 65% of pussy in your direction, though a stampede at and over you just because you are socially correct and a really nice guy is simply dick brained optimism.

One good advice is to play it cool and try to drift right down the middle... In other words, keep clean, tidy and neutralize your breath and body odors, although a bit of whiff from the pit can be advantageous, especially if pussy is on the prowl.

Now, for a profound tip. My friend had a cat, well, he had many cats, *still does* and once, that cat stared at me for a good hour while I was over at his place.

During that hour of that damn cat staring at me, I noticed that every so often, that pussy would wink at me. So I decided to try an experiment. When I saw an adult female within 5 years of my age walk towards me and glance over, I would just wink and stare. That's all, wink and stare. *Not like a psychopath of course, warm with just a hint of a smile*

Since doing that, I've never been short of pussy. Well, until now... The idea of going into the army has made me limp... Army induced E.D. <(T.T)>

All of you fonicator-wanabes are capable to score to the hilt with a fascinating range of females, providing you have roughly eighty percent in a female's points scoring system. Inherently/genetically, most adult females select their mates based on 1) how horny they are 2) how genetically compatible they are *at that moment* for fertillization 3) the characteristic of their offsprings to be. Thats how we were "made" and that is exactly what will ensure our race's survival in the many years to come. The need to procreate. To spread our seeds as far and as widely as possible. To fornicate.

To Fornicate Under Consent of the King.

There are many techniques on how to get pussy, but there are a few principle ones commonly employed.

Seizing it. *Also known as rape* I wouldn't recommend it. Why? Cause I think the death penalty is too kind.

Stealing it. *A variation of rape* After more than a few drinks, you pretend to be your buddy or perhaps even your brother, and girl whos drunk or drugged rolls over and presents to you her pussy. Fun, perhaps, but the penalty I support is castration.

Earning it. The tried and tested method. The first of the recommended methods. Perform a service, and get serviced in return. Many women want to do this, believe me. But it's at their decision. Please remember that. "No" means "no".

Marry it: It 100% fool proof. Unless your wife's so twistedly ugly that she gives you Erectile Dysfunction.

For old times sakes. This is the nostalgic tear jerker, perhaps at a class reunion where you meet your ex-love, stir up old feelings, get her to jerk you off and then roll her over to snare pussy. Brilliant.

"Fuck the husband/boyfriend/boss". Pussy rolls over so easy in such times of chaos when a woman's had a "fall". But proceed cautiously and assess the risk before you go muff diving. Before the cum has dried on your thighs recriminations may start and she may even call in her brothers to exact punishment for you taking advantage of her during her weak moment when you caught her with her pants down, literately.

Begging for it. OOh... Try not to go down this road to pussy. It works wonderfully, and perhaps its the easiest way to get pussy. But be warned, in time, concrete thighs of the contemptuous pussy owner will reduce your masculinity to an eggshell.

It is apparent to see, the way to pussy is fraught with dangers and difficulty.

Now, for another profound tip. Never let your ego gets between your and your target pussy. A fundamental piece of knowledge you must know if you want to graze in pussyland is to never give the impression that you think you are superior. That will close any pair of legs faster than scissors can snap shut.

Males automatically have the key to a woman's heart because men are natural-born liars. However, this does not imply that they have the key to a woman's pussy...

If you want her pussy, simply load her with the impression that you have qualities required for her to give you her pussy. She knows you love pussy, so show her that you love her and that you think she is so superior that you are humbled. Overcome by your adoration, how can she not consider allowing you to score a slamdunk?

Man, if that doesn't get you shafting pussy to the hilt, there is nothing I can do for you. Get a sex change operation.

Now, for yet another profound tip. Understand the pussy. Just acepting that pussy is far from being an innate object will assist you greatly in your quest.

Pussy has to be cultured, like a pearl, so to speak. If you don't understand that I guess that's basically the reason, though on a far more elementary level, why you were stuck home twiddling your thumbs when others were at birthday parties you were not invited to, all those years ago.

Many women have little more in life than their pussy, so it's exceedingly important to them. They expect it to be treated with dignity, tenderness and that you possess the belief that their particular pussy shares similar importance to mankind as does the Red Sea Scrolls. Make some mention on their intelligence too, it scores good points with them...

So I repeat, understand the pussy. It's all a load of crap really, but if you don't play along, away goes pussy and you go pussy-less.

Females will always tell you it doesn't matter that men dwell on the importance of pussy, but then women are natural-born liars too.

Man is programmed to react to pussy. You get any man, with his mind and hanging gear in full working order, to walk along a street where there is pussy on offer and he'll react in exactly the same way as countless generations of his forefathers acted. They all dove for the pussy.

Often males mistakenly think that a heavy slab of meat unlocks any pussy. The truth is many women like a smaller member and a less active one at that. But try telling that one to a big pecker male with an ego to match.

Chapter 2 : Types of Pussy

Loose pussy: (a) It is cavernous or (b) It slides anywhere and is everyone's to share.

Tight pussy: Becoming quite rare. Consider holding on to one, perhaps with only one finger.

Slow pussy: Not worth the time and sweat.

Flash pussy: Touch it and it fires. Great if you're tired or off-color.

Carnivorous pussy: Eats meat so wear a condom as they dislike membrane.

Mutually sensitive pussy: Chase this one. Will bang the instant you do.

Instant recall pussy: If you happen to get the wrong tunnel, this one will jerk you back inside the right one with vengeance. Real men like this type.

Immaculate pussy: Freaky, so avoid. Doesn't like extraneous smells, surplus liquids or unidentified substances such as cum.

Wrinkled pussy: Quick, leave instantly. You're in a retirement home.

Barrier pussy: It's menstrual time.

Gaping pussy: Check the wardrobe and under the bed. Someone got there first.

Dry pussy: Give it a miss unless you want to sandpaper you penis to a rocket shape.

Wet pussy: In her bed or car, no problem. In your own, think of the cleaning bills.

Smelly pussy: Be carefully discriminating. Some smells are toxic, others are good to wallow in.

Borrowed pussy: Avoid, rarely does it become yours.

Diseased pussy: Discriminate carefully as some sexually transmitted diseases are fashionable.

Vacuuming pussy: If you don't have to clean the lint filter or empty the trash bag, they're okay.

Family pussy: The most reliable of all.

Chapter 3 : Conclusion

Finally, the most successful way to snare all pussy is through a skill described in two words, "Skilled Communication". The only exception to that is being in repose on a beach asleep, nude, with a seven and a half inch dick at full mast transmitting a hypnotic message: "If you are a healthy female with a moist pussy please cast yourself wantonly but with care on to my very compatible and fully charged dick."

Women are not single channel communicators like men, and men who understand this and use it skillfully to their advantage, are the ones that attracts the girls. Like girls to a Mango sale...

Here are some useful pointers.

1) Never call them tits. Refer to them as breasts and perhaps boobs later on in the evening when she's getting warmed up.

2) Never, never but never refer to it as a cunt. Don't ask me why as it's a superbly appropriate foul sounding word. But in the female psyche, the action word alongside the word cunt is ABORT!

3) In talking to a female avoid looking at her breasts and certainly don't bend down to see if a camel toe is showing. Women are sensitive and like pretending that their brain is their most important/attractive attribute.

4) Never ask a woman as you are about to insert whether she is protected as she may accept that as a lack of confidence in her ability and put you on hold. For at least two weeks.

5) At all costs never tell an ugly woman that she is beautiful, or a beautiful woman she is ugly. Testicular reconstruction is very expensive and rarely successful.

6) A woman will give you the impression that she thinks a multiple orgasm is three quakes. They are natural born liars and well aware that the number is around thirty three.

7) If a woman says she doesn't suck, say you are a believer but don't believe her.

8) Women who say 'No!' may not mean no, but being women no may they mean yes and later, so remember the motto: Never give up to get up.

9) Females who give the impression they don't fuck were also convincing actresses when on the stage earlier in life.

Right. Now, how to get that fuck?

You must never give the impression that you're out of there, once you get pussy. Women like to know where their next fuck's coming from. They also like to be cherished and be given the impression that now is forever or at least until a better prospect comes calling.

This is not difficult to handle, all you require is an understanding about insincerity, deception and how females are fatalistic about being deceived and run out on after you've got what you wanted.

Appear sincere. Although it is a rare attribute in women, women like seeing it in men.

Adjust your trousers from time to time. A mildly interested woman will become more interested once she has evidence that your trouser snake is lively. Women have a touch of mongoose in them.

Practice being humble. Most women like to think they have the edge, and if they sense that you're not taking tonight's fuck for granted they begin thinking that perhaps they should really treat you.

Be aware that every woman interested in your ability to fecundate and is examining you minutely. Not only will she look at the swell in your jeans, the firmness of your buns and sample your intellect, she'll also probe your attitudes about family, child rearing, her freedom to continue going out with her girl friends, your attitudes towards her denting your car, or that you remain relaxed about her talking to the another man and just how fond you are of kids.

This sounds awfully complicated and unnecessary for a pussy but guys who are most thorough with the groundwork get the most pussy. There's no question about that.

Any questions?