On Leave till further Notice~

Until further notice, I'm on blog leave~ ^^

Views On Sex, and Shopping

*Emotional Knapsack*
Sigh~ Its my birthday and thakfully I don't have to spend it in my training camp *yeah I'm undergoing training... Far away from my base camp* For you peeps that don't know where I am... I'm in the R.O.K Army artillery Geodetic survey division... *yeah life sucks* Currently undergoing 2.5 weeks of training at the R.O.K artillery school. Will be back in base camp by the 18th of Nov...

I actually wanted to blog about my army life but unfortunately, I left my notes back in my locker so you peeps wil just have to wait till Jan~ *My next leave* So till then I leave you with ...

*My views On Sex, and Shopping*

Have you ever noticed that while most women say that they are uncomfortable with the whole fact of having sex and male voyeurism, it is often the women who instigate this?

An example of this is when a man and a woman are first going to make love/see each other naked. For a man, the way that his brain works is it goes on external stimuli, what he can see, hear, taste, so on and so forth. The woman can dress up which way that she wants, and parade in front of the man, as if to say, “look at me, I am beautiful!” Of course the men see it that way, the women ARE beautiful!

Which is why he gets so turned on by the erotic movies and pornographic magazines.

Men want it constantly, or at least they think they do. The problem is that more often than not, men are in tight fitting clothes from work. The fabric will rub across the head of the penis, of course making them hard, and very uncomfortable, as the blood will not have had a chance to dissipate, and lessen the pressure.

For a woman this doesn’t happen. Yes, she gets stimulated and perhaps even a little wet, but the outwards showing of the arousal is not that apparent.

Yet, for us poor guys we will have the biggest tenting that you will ever see, and for the man that is going out with his girlfriend or wife, woe is he, if she ever sees it.

The woman herself is slightly insecure after having to try to compare herself to Christy Turlington, Anna Kournakova, so on and so fourth. Yet, the common media practice is to have these women plastered everywhere and anywhere for the common consumer to buy these products.

So the poor male will unassumedly walk down the street with his sweetie in his arms, and be assaulted with visuals of models for Victoria Secret. The companies WANT men to buy these products to dress up their wives in, yet if we do TRY to look at the said models, our wife/girlfriend will assume that we are being unfaithful.

“WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT HER? WHAT DOES SHE HAVE THAT I DON’T HAVE? DOES SHE MAKE YOU HOT? WHY ARE YOU OGGLING HER?”

I mean for us poor guys what are we supposed to say, “Yes, I do have a fantasy of bonking Rebecka Romaijn Stamos, and I get a hard on over the fact that she is naked and covered in blue house paint?”

If we try to make it up with something sweet, like say, chocolate. The wife/girlfriend will not see the fact that us poor guys were just trying to give them something good to eat, instead its:

“OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING HERE? AM I FAT, IS THAT IT, OR MAYBE YOU WANT ME TO BE FAT, IT’S THAT I’M TOO SKINNY?”

Instead we should have just gone shopping for our woman, but yet again that brings up a whole other mess.

It appears that no matter what we get our lover/wife, there is something wrong with it.

Lets say that we pick out a negligee or even a sweater. If we were to go with the sweater route, it wouldn’t matter that you are living in Korea and that it’s cold for six months out of the year. The problem will be that

IT’S NOT THE RIGHT COLOR. WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, ARE YOU ASHAMED OF MY BODY, DO YOU WANT ME TO HIDE MY BODY UNDER LAYERS OF WOOL? ANGORA, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? THOSE POOR RABBITS!

So, instead we go for the negligee route. YOU THINK THAT I’D LOOK GOOD IN THAT? THAT WILL NEVER SUIT ME, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY THAT YOU WANT ME TO LOOK LIKE A WHORE, AM I WHORISH TO YOU? IT’S WINTER I’LL FREEZE IF I PUT THAT ON!

In a moment of flash judgment, we decide not to go for the clothing. And instead opt for a card or something of that sort.

WHAT! NO GIFT? WERE YOU NOT THINKING ABOUT ME ON OUR SPECIAL DAY? A CARD IS SOMETHING THAT YOU GET AT THE $1.00 DEPOT; THERE ARE MILLIONS OF THEM!

If it’s flowers:

LOVELY, WE HAVE TO GET THESE IN WATER, OTHERWISE THEY’LL DIE. DID YOU REALLY WANT TO GET ME SOMETHING THAT WILL DIE? IS THAT WHAT OUR LOVE MEANS TO YOU, SOMETHING THAT WILL WITHER AWAY AND DIE?”

So, fed up with everything, we decide to go the coward’s way out and do nothing:

WHAT AM I UNIMPORTANT TO YOU? DO YOU NOT CARE ENOUGH ABOUT ME TO DO ONE SIMPLE THING? I CAN SEE WHERE I STAND ON THIS RELATIONSHIP!

In all likelihood this is when the relationship will end, and the two of you part ways. So then; we poor, lonely, dejected men will go drown ourselves in whatever libation that we prefer, and try to meet someone special.

When we do, we then have to go through the whole mess again…

*Time For a Laugh*

His and her definitions

THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood.

Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

LESBIAN (lez-bi-an) n.
Female: A woman who makes love to other women.

Male: A woman who has sex with other women so men can watch and get really turned on.

GLASS CEILING (glass see-ling) n.
Female: The invisible barrier that stops women from rising to the upper levels in business.

Male: What would really be great at work since that hot babe took over the office one flight up.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.

Male: Playing ball without a cup.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.

Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the guys.

BUTT (but) n.
Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufacturer makes look bigger.

Male: The organ of mooning (and farting).

COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.

Male: Not trying to pick up any other women while out with one's girlfriend.

ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.

Male: Anything with one ball, two folds, or three stooges.

FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female: An embarrassing byproduct of digestion.

Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.

Male: What men have to call "boinking" to get women to boink.

REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.

Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2 minutes.

TASTE (tayst) v.
Female: Something you do frequently to whatever you're cooking, to make sure it's good.

Male: Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad,
prior to tossing it out.

Doing Time...

At 1300 today. I will officially be in the ROK army. After 3 months of waiting. Its finally here. I'm not going into a lot of tantric &#$(%@)$ like ahdokboy so I'll make it short and sweet. *No offence ahdokboy*

Its just one of those things that you have to go through with. So I'm just gonna go through it. With eyes wide shut. :P

I'll be back to blogging as soon as I can ok? Wish me luck!

I'll be back!

*Time For a Laugh*

For L.E.W.D eyes only: Lease a Nuke!

Want power and respect? Want to influence the course of world events? Want to be on CNN every night? Tired of hum-drum conventional warfare and messy bio-chemical weapons? Want to watch the citizens of your favorite arcology squirm and sweat in constant nagging fear of instant and unexpected anhilation?

Lease a nuclear device!

In the wake of the former Soviet Union's demise, there are literally thousand of high-quality nuclear weapons complete with intercontinental delivery systems going unused.

Though these systems are indeed powerful and destructive weapons of war, they are most effective when used in a more passive role. The US and USSR have proven in years of research and actual testing that nuclear devices are most effective when merely targeting an enemy. Actual detonation is not normally necessary to acheive tremendous effect in the designated target's military, political, economic and social well being.

Imagine the boost in national pride and morale when you personally announce on state radio and television that you have put long-time enemies under threat of nuclear destruction. They will praise your name as a powerful and inspired leader even without the secret police's encouragement.

Why lease?

By leasing, you not only save money developing your own nuclear technology program, you save a lot of unnecessary headaches too.

Nuclear weapons development is expensive and time consuming, not to mention easily detectable. It could take you years to aquire and build the necessary industry to manufacture weapons-grade material. Even after that, you still have to design, build and test your first device before anyone takes you seriously.

Purchasing existing nuclear hardware is also expensive and risky. Most governments are on the lookout for such activity. Many dealers are crooked. Do you really want to take a chance getting ripped off by shady weapons dealers?

Even if you succeed purchasing through the black market, you stand the risk of getting on the wrong side of international opinion. You could lose existing conventional arms contracts, face economic sanctions or even military action.

With a lease you avoid a lot of other problems too. Since the weapons are not on your property, you avoid becoming a target yourself. You can forget about the high cost of security, environmental pollution concerns and even subversion by renegade generals in your own army.

The advantages of leasing are tremendous. You just sign, point, and go! When you are through leasing, just turn in the button and walk away. You can even change your target at any time for a small fee. (Handy for preventing those nasty coup d' etats.) You can announce your target or keep it secret. Each targeted device contract comes with a certificate of authenticity and sufficient proof actual delivery capability.

The best part is, you don't pay for the whole weapon, unless you actually fire it! This alone presents a HUGE cost savings over the alternatives.

Imagine the power and prestige you will feel when you get your very own button. You can do things you never thought possible, like pounding your shoe on the UN podium. Hey, and nothing says sexy like a nuclear trigger.

Hurry, opportunities are limited! Contact Raydeax corpoaration for more details on how you too can become an instant nuclear world power.

Dr. Nuketopia,

Technology Director of the World-Wide Monetary Conspiracy - Also my good friend :P

The Art of Fornication...

The information written below is for the exclusive use of the reader and shall be read and used at his risk entirely. The author accepts no responsibility and warns the information herein is dangerous in the hands and mind of the immature, the ignorant, the insensitive and the anti-social would-be fornicator. Anyone else is bound to benefit if being a bit short in knowledge or technique. Happy fornication!

Chapter 1 : Fornication

Fornicating by itself, is an art. As most of us are not born "artists", we can sure use some assistance from time to time.

Snaring pussy, *fornication*, is the adult/maturing adolescent's version of recieving a birthday invitation when you were a kid. If you recieved lots of birthday invitations you probably were the happy kid in the block. Likewise with fornication. If you're getting lotsa "love", I'm sure that you probably one of the happy guys in your block. You'd perhaps even get same sex "lovin" if you were "bent" that way...

Crap aside, lets get down to the real shit...

Basics. Like everything, lets start with the basics...

First, think pussy. Unless you do so, it may evade you simply because you've lost the plot.

You don't have to identify a particular pussy. Cause, if you do so, you automatically limit your choices and varieties, perhaps tragically so. So maintain wide vision and remember the age old fundamental: "IT" is everywhere.

Being socially correct automatically turns 65% of pussy in your direction, though a stampede at and over you just because you are socially correct and a really nice guy is simply dick brained optimism.

One good advice is to play it cool and try to drift right down the middle... In other words, keep clean, tidy and neutralize your breath and body odors, although a bit of whiff from the pit can be advantageous, especially if pussy is on the prowl.

Now, for a profound tip. My friend had a cat, well, he had many cats, *still does* and once, that cat stared at me for a good hour while I was over at his place.

During that hour of that damn cat staring at me, I noticed that every so often, that pussy would wink at me. So I decided to try an experiment. When I saw an adult female within 5 years of my age walk towards me and glance over, I would just wink and stare. That's all, wink and stare. *Not like a psychopath of course, warm with just a hint of a smile*

Since doing that, I've never been short of pussy. Well, until now... The idea of going into the army has made me limp... Army induced E.D. <(T.T)>

All of you fonicator-wanabes are capable to score to the hilt with a fascinating range of females, providing you have roughly eighty percent in a female's points scoring system. Inherently/genetically, most adult females select their mates based on 1) how horny they are 2) how genetically compatible they are *at that moment* for fertillization 3) the characteristic of their offsprings to be. Thats how we were "made" and that is exactly what will ensure our race's survival in the many years to come. The need to procreate. To spread our seeds as far and as widely as possible. To fornicate.

To Fornicate Under Consent of the King.

There are many techniques on how to get pussy, but there are a few principle ones commonly employed.

Seizing it. *Also known as rape* I wouldn't recommend it. Why? Cause I think the death penalty is too kind.

Stealing it. *A variation of rape* After more than a few drinks, you pretend to be your buddy or perhaps even your brother, and girl whos drunk or drugged rolls over and presents to you her pussy. Fun, perhaps, but the penalty I support is castration.

Earning it. The tried and tested method. The first of the recommended methods. Perform a service, and get serviced in return. Many women want to do this, believe me. But it's at their decision. Please remember that. "No" means "no".

Marry it: It 100% fool proof. Unless your wife's so twistedly ugly that she gives you Erectile Dysfunction.

For old times sakes. This is the nostalgic tear jerker, perhaps at a class reunion where you meet your ex-love, stir up old feelings, get her to jerk you off and then roll her over to snare pussy. Brilliant.

"Fuck the husband/boyfriend/boss". Pussy rolls over so easy in such times of chaos when a woman's had a "fall". But proceed cautiously and assess the risk before you go muff diving. Before the cum has dried on your thighs recriminations may start and she may even call in her brothers to exact punishment for you taking advantage of her during her weak moment when you caught her with her pants down, literately.

Begging for it. OOh... Try not to go down this road to pussy. It works wonderfully, and perhaps its the easiest way to get pussy. But be warned, in time, concrete thighs of the contemptuous pussy owner will reduce your masculinity to an eggshell.

It is apparent to see, the way to pussy is fraught with dangers and difficulty.

Now, for another profound tip. Never let your ego gets between your and your target pussy. A fundamental piece of knowledge you must know if you want to graze in pussyland is to never give the impression that you think you are superior. That will close any pair of legs faster than scissors can snap shut.

Males automatically have the key to a woman's heart because men are natural-born liars. However, this does not imply that they have the key to a woman's pussy...

If you want her pussy, simply load her with the impression that you have qualities required for her to give you her pussy. She knows you love pussy, so show her that you love her and that you think she is so superior that you are humbled. Overcome by your adoration, how can she not consider allowing you to score a slamdunk?

Man, if that doesn't get you shafting pussy to the hilt, there is nothing I can do for you. Get a sex change operation.

Now, for yet another profound tip. Understand the pussy. Just acepting that pussy is far from being an innate object will assist you greatly in your quest.

Pussy has to be cultured, like a pearl, so to speak. If you don't understand that I guess that's basically the reason, though on a far more elementary level, why you were stuck home twiddling your thumbs when others were at birthday parties you were not invited to, all those years ago.

Many women have little more in life than their pussy, so it's exceedingly important to them. They expect it to be treated with dignity, tenderness and that you possess the belief that their particular pussy shares similar importance to mankind as does the Red Sea Scrolls. Make some mention on their intelligence too, it scores good points with them...

So I repeat, understand the pussy. It's all a load of crap really, but if you don't play along, away goes pussy and you go pussy-less.

Females will always tell you it doesn't matter that men dwell on the importance of pussy, but then women are natural-born liars too.

Man is programmed to react to pussy. You get any man, with his mind and hanging gear in full working order, to walk along a street where there is pussy on offer and he'll react in exactly the same way as countless generations of his forefathers acted. They all dove for the pussy.

Often males mistakenly think that a heavy slab of meat unlocks any pussy. The truth is many women like a smaller member and a less active one at that. But try telling that one to a big pecker male with an ego to match.

Chapter 2 : Types of Pussy

Loose pussy: (a) It is cavernous or (b) It slides anywhere and is everyone's to share.

Tight pussy: Becoming quite rare. Consider holding on to one, perhaps with only one finger.

Slow pussy: Not worth the time and sweat.

Flash pussy: Touch it and it fires. Great if you're tired or off-color.

Carnivorous pussy: Eats meat so wear a condom as they dislike membrane.

Mutually sensitive pussy: Chase this one. Will bang the instant you do.

Instant recall pussy: If you happen to get the wrong tunnel, this one will jerk you back inside the right one with vengeance. Real men like this type.

Immaculate pussy: Freaky, so avoid. Doesn't like extraneous smells, surplus liquids or unidentified substances such as cum.

Wrinkled pussy: Quick, leave instantly. You're in a retirement home.

Barrier pussy: It's menstrual time.

Gaping pussy: Check the wardrobe and under the bed. Someone got there first.

Dry pussy: Give it a miss unless you want to sandpaper you penis to a rocket shape.

Wet pussy: In her bed or car, no problem. In your own, think of the cleaning bills.

Smelly pussy: Be carefully discriminating. Some smells are toxic, others are good to wallow in.

Borrowed pussy: Avoid, rarely does it become yours.

Diseased pussy: Discriminate carefully as some sexually transmitted diseases are fashionable.

Vacuuming pussy: If you don't have to clean the lint filter or empty the trash bag, they're okay.

Family pussy: The most reliable of all.

Chapter 3 : Conclusion

Finally, the most successful way to snare all pussy is through a skill described in two words, "Skilled Communication". The only exception to that is being in repose on a beach asleep, nude, with a seven and a half inch dick at full mast transmitting a hypnotic message: "If you are a healthy female with a moist pussy please cast yourself wantonly but with care on to my very compatible and fully charged dick."

Women are not single channel communicators like men, and men who understand this and use it skillfully to their advantage, are the ones that attracts the girls. Like girls to a Mango sale...

Here are some useful pointers.

1) Never call them tits. Refer to them as breasts and perhaps boobs later on in the evening when she's getting warmed up.

2) Never, never but never refer to it as a cunt. Don't ask me why as it's a superbly appropriate foul sounding word. But in the female psyche, the action word alongside the word cunt is ABORT!

3) In talking to a female avoid looking at her breasts and certainly don't bend down to see if a camel toe is showing. Women are sensitive and like pretending that their brain is their most important/attractive attribute.

4) Never ask a woman as you are about to insert whether she is protected as she may accept that as a lack of confidence in her ability and put you on hold. For at least two weeks.

5) At all costs never tell an ugly woman that she is beautiful, or a beautiful woman she is ugly. Testicular reconstruction is very expensive and rarely successful.

6) A woman will give you the impression that she thinks a multiple orgasm is three quakes. They are natural born liars and well aware that the number is around thirty three.

7) If a woman says she doesn't suck, say you are a believer but don't believe her.

8) Women who say 'No!' may not mean no, but being women no may they mean yes and later, so remember the motto: Never give up to get up.

9) Females who give the impression they don't fuck were also convincing actresses when on the stage earlier in life.

Right. Now, how to get that fuck?

You must never give the impression that you're out of there, once you get pussy. Women like to know where their next fuck's coming from. They also like to be cherished and be given the impression that now is forever or at least until a better prospect comes calling.

This is not difficult to handle, all you require is an understanding about insincerity, deception and how females are fatalistic about being deceived and run out on after you've got what you wanted.

Appear sincere. Although it is a rare attribute in women, women like seeing it in men.

Adjust your trousers from time to time. A mildly interested woman will become more interested once she has evidence that your trouser snake is lively. Women have a touch of mongoose in them.

Practice being humble. Most women like to think they have the edge, and if they sense that you're not taking tonight's fuck for granted they begin thinking that perhaps they should really treat you.

Be aware that every woman interested in your ability to fecundate and is examining you minutely. Not only will she look at the swell in your jeans, the firmness of your buns and sample your intellect, she'll also probe your attitudes about family, child rearing, her freedom to continue going out with her girl friends, your attitudes towards her denting your car, or that you remain relaxed about her talking to the another man and just how fond you are of kids.

This sounds awfully complicated and unnecessary for a pussy but guys who are most thorough with the groundwork get the most pussy. There's no question about that.

Any questions?

Star Wars: The Truth Bites Back...

If you were born in the 80's, I'm sure that when the original Star Wars first premiered, we were still in the single digit years, and we thought the creatures were very cool.

When The Empire Strikes Back opened, we were in early double digit years, and we were convinced that the special effects were much better, the characters much cooler, and we wanted every single collectible out there.

Then, The Return Of The Jedi hits the theaters... By then, we were now teenagers, & we couldn't take our eyes off Princess Leia's breasts *I know most guys would have had fantasies about the Princess leia in the gold bikini * or Han Solo's butt. We hung up posters, photos, and "teen"-type magazine spreads all over our walls and notice boards at school.

Now, since we're all older and wiser, Its time we all found out what really happened in, STAR WARS: The Truth Bites Back... *Star Wars fans and enthus can turn back now... I don't want to be responsible for destroying your dreams.*

STAR WARS: The Truth Bites Back...

A furious light sabre duel is under way.

Darth Vader is backing Luke Skywalker toward the end of the gantry.

* Special effects + Light saber sounds*

A quick move by Vader, he chops off Luke's hand! & down it goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft.

Luke looks round, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.

Darth Vader: "Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father."

Luke: "He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"

Darth Vader: "No! I am your father!"

Luke: "No, that's not true! That's impossible."

Darth Vader: "Search your feelings; you know it to be true."

Luke: "NOOOO!"

Darth Vader: "Yes, it is true and you know what else? You know that queer brass droid of yours?"

Luke: "Threepio?"

Darth Vader: "Yes, Threepio, I built him when I was 7 years old."

Luke: "No way."

Darth Vader: "Way! Seven years old! And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp."

Luke: "I.. I... I destroyed your precious Death Star!"

Darth Vader: "When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!"

Luke: "Well, it's not my fault."

Darth Vader: "Oh, here we go. 'Poor me, my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday, boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith... Waahhh wahhh!' You make me sick."

Luke: "Shut up!"

Darth Vader: "You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had exterminated the Jedi Knights!"

Luke: "I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon!"

Darth Vader: "Oh, for the love of God, 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open. Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer, right here baby!"

Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step toward it.

Darth Vader: "I was wrong. You're not my kid. I don't know whose you are, but you sure ain't mine. Get out of my sight, you loser!"

With tears in his eyes, Luke looks to step off the platform, hesitates, then steps off and plunges down the shaft.

Darth Vader looks after him.

Darth Vader: "AND GET A HAIRCUT!"

All Foam, No Beer...

Sometimes I feel like a starfish... Why? Well, maybe its because starfishes don't have brains... Today, I found in myself, proof that evolution can indeed, go in reverse.

By the way, I got my driver's licence today. Hooray.

This was my third time taking the theory test within 2 weeks and somehow, I managed to hit all the branches on the way down the stupid tree. A little bit of information about the theory test. It is hard... In my own arrogance, I went for the first test unprepared and deservingly failed. So for the second test, I did my homework. I took 2 days off, and studied. I even bought the stupid test book for 3000 Won. * It was on sale * But somehow, I still failed. I was perplexed. I could answer most of the questions easily and was 100% confident that I would make it. The answer? 55/100 points. *60's the passing mark* I know, ARGH!

So humiliated, angry, ashamed once again by the sadist sitting behind the desk at the driving center counter, I went back home, took 3 days off and read my ass off that test book. I could memorise most of the questions by then... Then today, I went in and sat for the test...

Now, since I was converting my licence, I was taking a slightly different paper from the other miscreants inside that examination hall. So as per normal, they drew ballots to decide which number was allocated to the odd number seats and even number seats.

21 - odd

28 - even

You ask me whats the significance of these numbers. Now I tell you. This is the number for that is to be written on the top of your paper to verify that you took the test on that particular date. *I was in seat 99, odd.* So with an intellect rivaled only by garden tools, I wrote the number 21 in the given space.

And at 9.00 am sharp, the test had begun... The examiner started making his rounds, checking our identification to make sure no one was impersonation someone else to take the test for them, making sure that no one was cheating and such.

Then he reached my seat. 99. He picked up my identity card, peered over at my test sheet and said: "Hey, you're taking the special paper. Your number's not 21. Its S-3." With that, he snatched my pen from my now limp and lifeless fingers and cancelled the number 21, writing in its place S-3.

This meant that I should have passed on my second try instead of my third. It meant that I wouldn't have to pay that small but irritating fee that they make you pay before you take the test. It meant... It meant that I have become what I loathed the most... A stupid person. I've always said: "I hate stupid people." And now, I hate myself...

Buy the new Don Lee action figure, fully equipped with stupid tree and gardening tools. Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel. Lolz...

Seriously... I suddenly found myself, All Foam, No Beer...

So now, I can finally drive in Korea. Like thats any consolation.... (-_-;)>

*Time For a Laugh*

A man named Fred goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, I want to be castrated."

Doc says, "Look, I don't know what kind of cult you're into or what your motives are, but I'm not going to do that sort of operation."

Fred: "Doc, I just want to be castrated, and I'm a little embarrassed about talking about it, but I have $5,000 cash right here. Will you do it?"

Doc says, "Well, OK, I guess I could make this one exception. I don't understand it, but OK." He puts Fred to sleep, does the trick, and is waiting at the bedside when Fred wakes up.

"Well, Doc, how'd it go?" Fred asks.

"It went fine, just fine. It's really not too difficult of an operation. As a matter of fact, $5,000 is a lot to pay for such a simple task, and I felt a little guilty about taking that much. So, while I was operating, I also noticed that you had never been circumcised, so I have gone ahead and did that, too. I think, it's really better for a man to be circumcised, and I hope you don't mind my..."

"CIRCUMCISED!" yells Fred. "THAT'S the word!!!"

StarWars Parody: StoreWars...

In this spoof of one of our time's greatest movie, vegetables and other organic foods star as characters from the "Star Wars" saga trying to promote healthier eating without pollution and pesticides. Cuke Skywalker, Obi Wan Cannoli, Princess Lettuce, Ham Solo, Chewbroccoli, C3Peanuts, and Tofu D2 take on Lord Tader and The Dark Side of the Farm.
Store Wars

*Time For a Laugh*

Top Ten Reasons Why Star Wars Characters are Better

10. In the Star Wars Universe weapons are rarely, if ever, set on "stun".

9. The Enterprise needs a huge engine room with an anti-matter unit and a crew of 20 just to go into warp -- The Millannium Falcon does the same thing with R2-D2 and a wookie.

8. After resisting the Imperial torture droid and Darth Vader, Princess Leia still looked fresh -- After pithy Cardassian starvation torture, Picard looked like hell.

7. One word: Lightsaber

6. Darth Vader could choke the entire Borg empire withone glance

5. The Death Star doesn't care if a world is "M" class or not.

4. Luke Skywalker is not obsessed with sleeping with every alien he encounters

3. Jabba the Hutt would eat Harry Mudd for trying to cut in on his action.

2. The Federation would have to attempt to liberate any ship named "Slave I"

1. Picard pilots the Enterprise through asteroid belts at one-quarter impulse power --- Han Solo floors it.